she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
