Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
