He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
