This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can text with my tongue
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
