we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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