I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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