how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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