I heard we made out
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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