don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
