In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
