I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
