He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
