Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
