Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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