no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize