I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
A+ Viking dick
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
