Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
