I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize