Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize