Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
