This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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