I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
