My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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