Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
