we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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