hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
