hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
