Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize