Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize