No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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