Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
