He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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