weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
