If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
