every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
