So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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