textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
