The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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