alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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