My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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