I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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