brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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