Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
