did you get engaged???
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
