omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
