Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize
