so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
