'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
