just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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