I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize