Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
