So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Alive.
So much puke
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Please don't give away my fajitas
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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