so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
