They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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