Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
