Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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