Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Vodka?
Forever.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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