Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
