this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
