we're blogging at a bar
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
false alarm, still single
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
