I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
whose ass print is on the piano?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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