so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
