I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
