You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
