The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize