you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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